I Am Still Me

There is a moment in serious illness when the world begins to behave differently around you.

People lower their voices. Meetings happen without you because they do not want to disturb you. Someone offers to sign something on your behalf. Travel is reconsidered. Decisions are postponed. Everyone is trying to help.

And slowly, almost imperceptibly, illness can begin taking away more than health. It can take away agency.

This matters in a family office. A person may be undergoing treatment, living with a disability or adapting to a body that no longer behaves as it once did. But that person may still be a shareholder, beneficiary, parent, director, investor or simply someone accustomed to making their own choices.

The challenge is not merely providing the best medical care money can buy. It is preserving the largest possible territory in which that person continues to decide.

Perhaps meetings need to become shorter. Documents presented differently. Travel adapted. Assistance provided discreetly. Responsibilities temporarily reduced.

These are accommodations, not exclusions.

There is an important difference between helping someone do something differently and deciding that they should no longer do it.

A sophisticated family office should understand that difference.

Because when illness enters a family, preserving capital remains important. Preserving dignity becomes equally so.

And dignity often begins with four words: Ask me, not them.

W.